mini-Dems

Saturday, March 25, 2006

A Moment in Time


Pictured above is one of the rarest of moments - when 2 special beings meet on a bridge. This meeting was one of the most momentous of the early 21st century - on the left is the reclusive orthnographist Ms. Nepple and on the right is raconteur Ms. Fip. After years of empassioned debate on several key words and phrases in the English language the two, at the relentless request of the international community, met at Lynn Headwaters Regional Park to hammer out an agreement on usage, spelling and intellectual property rights. In addition, they also pet a dog - later named Tundra by historians. The subsequent increase in the phrase 'be all thumbs' in regional circles of the intelligentsia and the word 'weal' are directly attributed to this occasion. Ms. Nepple went on to found the Order of Purple Mammals, a literary group loosely associated with books. Ms. Fip began a steady slipping, emotionally and professionally, and soon thereafter refused to pronouce any words begininng with 'ph'.

The Great Thaw


Last weekend we travelled to Victoria, BC's provincial capital and playground of the retired. We took lunch with my paternal grandfather and his partner in their Cadboro Bay flat. The menu was quite agreeable and it pleasantly soothed the gastric-intestinal issues stemming from the previous nights debauchery. The conversation was light and scattered with stories from grandfather's younger years. Previosuly unbeknownst to myself, the Cold War appears to have had significant impact on the family's fortunes. Grandfather was naturally endowed with a musical ear and was encouraged by his mother, a teacher of Scottish descent to formally pursue orhestraic music. He became quite accomplished on the classical violin and appeared to be on the brink of making it a professional career. During the war he practised as an instrument technician for the Canadian Air Force - hearing problems had prevented him from becoming a pilot. After the war he resumed his musical career and appears to have been offered a position as orchestra conductor for the Seattle Symphony. These plans were thwarted however when the US government refused to give him the required work visa to due to his brother's associations with Canadian socialist movements. He returned to the Air Force, family in tow, and was eventually stationed in bases overseas where (ironically?) he worked on the above aircraft, the SR71 Blackbird, America's first ultrasonic stealth reconnaissance plane.

Manifest Destiny Realized

World's longest undefended border be damned! They have sailed the USS Preble right up Burrard Inlet and seized the public dock in North Van! The enemy was so bold and cunning; landing at high noon and sounding her insufferable horn - I am sad to report that we gave up the beachead without much of a fight - tugs brought her into dock and even the RCMP held watch over her as her crew disembarked to plunder local shops and brothels. There was little resistance I could give other than a resigned middle fimger - we resolved to celebrate the end of the Dominion at the SoupMeister shop in the quay market.